SANDRA

There was this guy. I thought he would be good to me – that was a mistake.

It had been a difficult time. Me and my two young sons were living with my parents because their father left and I needed support. I just couldn’t do it on my own. I was hustling at the local market, trying to sell clothes and make some money.

I had not long been seeing this man when I discovered I was pregnant. When I told him, his response was loud and clear: he didn’t want a child and he wasn’t going to stick around if I had it.

So, now what? I was broke. This man would be leaving me with all the responsibility once again and my mother was already helping me raise two boys... how could I bring another child into this situation?

I knew an abortion was the only option. But I didn’t have any money to pay for such a service, and I was scared about being judged, about being turned away. I was scared of the whole thing. 

Then the guy told me he knew what to do. He got me a pill from somewhere – I didn’t know where from and wrongly assumed it was safe.

This is easier, I thought, if I can just deal with this myself. So I swallowed it.

I had terrible stomach pains. I started bleeding – and didn’t stop. I was going through three packets of sanitary pads in a day, but these were expensive, so I started using my clothes. They were being soaked through with blood. I couldn’t sleep at night, and knew something was wrong, but I was trying to make myself be strong and get through it.

I called the man to tell him how much I was bleeding and that I was scared, but he blocked my number. I never heard from him again.

After three days of bleeding, I knew I needed to get help. Clearly the pill I’d been given wasn’t a regulated abortion pill, it was something else. I lied to my friend, saying I had malaria and that I needed a ride to the hospital. I was pale, my heartbeat weak.

My memories are blurry but I remember the doctor telling me if I hadn’t come in when I did, I would have died.

It was horrible. At one point I even prayed to God to just take me, I was so tired of everything. But the doctors cared for me well and gave me back my life. I stayed in the hospital for two weeks and ended up having to call my mum to tell her what happened.

It hasn’t been easy for me, but it feels good to share my story. Because there’s someone else out there who might read it and go to a doctor instead of having an unsafe abortion. I just want to say to them: ask for help, someone will help you.

Now, I am doing my best to make things better for the future. I want to focus on myself and my two boys. They’re still only little, just two and four years old, but I really hope they can get a good education so one day they can reach places and have a better life than me.